Monday, August 5, 2013


Do you other parents out there remember the feeling you had when you went home from the hospital with your first newborn baby?  That foggy, sleep-deprived, surreal feeling where you ask yourself, "Now what? What do I do with this....person?"  "What was I thinking bringing a human being into the world?!  I mean, really.  A HUMAN BEING.  I actually thought I was qualified to raise a healthy, emotionally stable person and release them into society!  Am I crazy?!"  That's at least how I felt.  Completely inadequate.  I can only imagine that most people feel that way at least once in their parenting lives.

Today I'm feeling that same inadequacy.  I'm not saying this to make anybody feel bad for me or write me an encouraging note on facebook.  I'm saying this because I'm pretty sure I'm just a normal person who, at times, feels like I don't know the first thing about raising children.  Am I crazy to think that all parents must go through this?  I figure it's probably a bit more of a struggle with a special needs child, but no matter how hard the struggle, it's still there.  We all face it in one way or another.  We all have those moments when we don't know what our child needs and we feel really crappy about it, right?

Honestly, I'm thankful for my inadequacy.  I would much rather feel inadequate than feel completely competent as a parent.  It's those very inadequacies that remind me how big God really is.  It's my weakness that reveals His strength in my life.  It's the moments when I feel the least qualified that I know I can look to Him and find all that I need.  I guess that's really why I'm writing this.  I just needed to remind myself that I'm a person.  I'm not perfect.  And, I'm fine with that.  The same goes for everybody else.  It's ok to just be a person, inadequacies and all.

 "And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 1Cor 12:9